How to host a no-BS dinner that actually brings people together

Most networking events are terrible.

They’re full of forced conversations, people pitching their services, and a room full of folks trying to get something from you. It feels super transactional and nobody is actually trying to authentically connect or is open-minded and seeking to learn. It’s basically just a social media feed IRL.

This week I posted about the small quarterly dinners I’ve been hosting the past 3 years with marketing, design, product, and tech leaders in the Charlotte area. No sponsors. No name tags. No one awkwardly trying to sell you something. Just great people, great food, and great conversation.

I got quite a few DMs about it, so I thought I’d share more detail. These dinners are an example of what building great experiences is all about. Cultivating a memorable, personal, and authentic experience for customers 😊

1. Personally invite people. No mass emails. No automation.

Forget email lists, fancy event software, or LinkedIn RSVPs. If you’re not personally reaching out to invite someone, you’re doing it wrong. People show up when they feel personally wanted.. not because they saw a mass invite.

Here’s how to do it:

• Text, DM, or email people individually. Keep it personal.

• Keep the invite simple. Here’s a quick screenshot of a text I sent last fall:

  

• Follow up a few days before to confirm. People are busy. A quick reminder helps.

2. Pay for the whole thing. No sponsors. No sales pitch.

If you’re already wondering, but how do I make money off this?, stop. That’s not the point. The point is to create something valuable where people show up because they want to. Not because they’re being sold something.

Yes, that means you pay for dinner. Yes, that means there’s no direct ROI. But the long-term value of real relationships is worth way more than anything transactional.

How to make this manageable:

• Keep it small (10-15 people max).

• Choose a mid-tier restaurant, not a fancy steakhouse.

• If you do it regularly, restaurants will often give you a deal.

3. Get a private room. No cameras. No recording.

A private space makes all the difference. It lets people actually talk, focus, and open up without distractions. And nobody wants their off-the-record thoughts ending up in someone’s LinkedIn post the next day.

How to do it:

• Call restaurants and ask about private rooms. Negotiate the minimum spend. If you bring them regular business, they’ll work with you.

• No livestreaming or recording. No name tags. No pressure. Just dinner.

4. Let people order what they want. No catering.

Trying to pre-select a menu for a group? Bad idea. Someone’s gluten-free. Someone’s keto. Someone just wants a burger. Let people pick their own food. It’s easier, and everyone leaves happy.

How to do it:

• Pick a restaurant with a solid, flexible menu.

• Just open a tab and let the conversation flow.

5. Keep it small. Keep it exclusive.

A great dinner is not a 50-person networking event. Keep it intimate. 10 to 15 people max. Big enough to have variety, but small enough that everyone actually gets to talk.

Who should be invited?

• A mix of familiar faces and new people.

• People who should know each other but don’t yet.

• No one who just wants to pitch their services.

If someone asks, "Can I bring a friend?" The answer is only if you’d personally vouch for them.

6. Give people permission to connect afterward.

You’re the connector. Own it. At the end of dinner, make it clear that follow-ups aren’t just allowed, they’re encouraged.

What to say:
"If there’s someone here you want to grab coffee with, do it. And if you need an excuse, blame me."

People appreciate the nudge. It removes the awkwardness of should I follow up? and makes real connections happen.

7. No branding. No name tags. No corporate vibes.

This is not a "thought leadership event." It’s just dinner. No sponsors. No logos. No panels. The second it starts feeling corporate, it loses its magic.

How to keep it real:

• No agendas. No PowerPoint. Just people talking.

• No official sign-up form. If you know, you know.

8. Make it about stories, not titles.

Nobody cares about your job title. The best conversations come from real stories—especially the messy, imperfect, things didn’t go as planned ones.

What to ask at dinner:

• "What’s an interesting problem your team is solving right now?"

• "What’s something you’re excited about in the next year?"

• "What’s a lesson you learned the hard way?"

The goal isn’t to impress. It’s to connect.

9. Do it again. Keep it low-key.

If it goes well, do it again. Keep the list fresh, introduce new faces, and don’t let it get stale. And never try to scale it. The second you add sponsors or branding, you kill what made it special.

If you do this right, these dinners will build a network stronger than any conference, panel, or LinkedIn connection ever could.

So that’s the playbook. No automation. No scaling. No BS. Just real people, having real conversations, over real food.

Onward & upward,
Drew

P.s. If you’re in the Charlotte area and interested in joining a dinner, hit reply and let me know 😊